“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!” ~Jewel, The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, Book 7 Until then.... posted by me 12:10 PM . . .
It's so weird, I feel like I have grown up so much over the past two years, only to find I will never truly realize how gravely immature I am. Living every day is like dredging through a wretched bog under a heavy veil of unexplainable mist. And yet I, myself, am no rose among thorns and therefore may not always realize the muck I am immersed in and/or creating. I feel like the more my eyes are opened, the more I realize that things aren’t peachy, and they’re not necessarily going to be. Not here at least. C.S. Lewis said: "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." And it is the brief glimpses of this other world found in my family, friends, co-workers and other blessings around me that sweep away the bog and mist and make this world livable as a shadow of a better place to come. posted by me 10:30 AM . . .
Filter I'm never very good at the whole filter thing. I try to be a rather honest person, which sometimes leads to being a rather blunt person. I don't say everything I think, but a great majority of it, and amazingly enough, some things that come from my mouth appear to have completely bypassed any sort of thought process at all. Maybe that's why I'm better on printed page than in conversation. On printed page (or screen) I can erase, edit, scrap the entire thing, spell check, whatever. Sometimes I wish our lives had a VCR and we could rewind certain parts, fast forward others, and definitely record key moments, like that time Ashley admitted that I am the coolest person ever. (Just checking to see if you're paying attention) Then there are moments that you want to pause forever in a freeze frame, or that seem to have been set in slo-mo. At least we can use our memories as a sort of VCR to try to erase or replay our happenings. Unfortunately, my memories seem to have been recorded on a tape that was left on the dashboard of a car in mid-August, ever deteriorating, never as crisp and clean as the actual moment. I suppose in some instances, however, that is rather fortunate.... posted by me 8:20 AM . . .
Phantom Presence. I had my apartment to myself this weekend. It's interesting when you're used to other people being around and all of a sudden you're all by yourself. It's not like moving to a new place and living by yourself. Then you're in an entirely new situation, starting anew, if you will. It's more like the phantasmic sensation one feels when they have an unquenchable itch where their left forearm used to be, before the war. Ok, maybe my roommates aren't as indispensible as a limb, but still, there's a routine, a way of doing things that you get used to. It's like having a person missing on the assembly line. What do they do when that happens? I guess they rearrange. Man, I'd feel guilty taking sick days if I worked on a production line. Good thing I don't. But I digress... I suppose that's what the whole 'empty nest' syndrome is like, as well. Poor moms. No wonder why they miss us. Well, that, and now they have to mow the lawn themselves. posted by me 8:43 AM . . .
Happy Memorial Day. What is Memorial Day to you? To many of us it is a three day weekend and banner cookout day. The weekend when community pools open. A day after which the summer begins and it is fashionably acceptable to wear white. However, today is really a day to remember those that have served and fallen providing and protecting our freedom. In light of recent events, we have new heroes and defenders to celebrate and appreciate. Who among you have served in wars? My dad did. Vietnam. Almost died. I'm really glad he didn't. Many people at my work have. Others have loved ones currently in active duty or training. Not that many of them actually talk about their experiences.... Growing up I had a friend whose dad was born and raised in Germany. He was a boy during WWII and had some stories to tell. At first he was forced to fight with the Nazis and when they didn't want to he and his father were trapped in a cell and lived on lard snuck to them by his mother. Can't say that my childhood was like that. When we gather together today, let's savour our freedom and remember those that make it possible. posted by me 9:44 AM . . .
