Stark Realization I just started a new book about the art and work of caring. Not caring as in, whether you give a damn or not, but caregiving as a role and vocation in life. Each of us is a caregiver of some sort; some people just have a calling to do it fulltime, with or without pay. In the brief amount that I have read, I have discerned, that, yes, I am the caregiving sort of individual. I have always wanted to take care of my loved ones, my family and friends. My entire purpose for going to college and majoring in something my parents agreed with was so that someday I can have enough money to pay off all of their debt and hire help to take care of them in my absence. The stark realization that I came to this morning is thus: my greatest fear, as a caregiver, is that I will have no one to care for. However, I still have my existing family and friends and therefore will always have someone to care for (not smother, just really care about and take care of to the extent of our relationships and means.) I guess that means I’ll never make it as a hermit. posted by me 9:12 AM . . .
This is basically for my friend, Ash, who is the only person who reads this site and happens to be currently out of the country. So, Ash, here you go…. There’s something I love about a starry night. Last night, however, I found a new love: a breezy, pre-storm, clouded sky. An inky black-blue canvas smattered with pewter and periwinkle forms, shifting with the tropospheric winds, ever moving, ever changing into this shape or that. It’s an exercise for the imagination. The rabbits or chef’s hats you may find in the puffy white day-clouds become dark and mysterious at night. No longer do the wisps form dreams, but rather hypnotizing, spellbinding trances that sweep up the dreamer and wrap her softly, but firmly, in their hazy, gauzy mists. Here one’s soul is anointed with oil and freed from constraint. Here is it where one finds desire; where one finds the flipside of fantasies and the remnant of romance; where one finds satiety. Here one may find rest in frustrations and peace at the stem of the storm. posted by me 10:18 AM . . .
¡Hola! ¿Como estas? ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo! Ok, that’s enough of that. No need to pretend I’m a fluent Spanish speaker. However, here are some lyrics for you to ponder in honor of Cinco de Mayo: Mil Besos by Patty Griffin He encontrado en tu amor, la fe perdida, Ahora tiene mi vida una razón. No sé si fue el embrujo de tus ojos, que le dijo a tus labios, Róbale el corazón. Yo sé que en los mil besos que te he dado en la boca se me fue el corazón; y dicen que es pecado querer como te quiero, Quizás tengan razón. Pero que ha de importarme todo lo que me digan, no te he de olvidar; que si es pecado amarte yo he de seguir pecando nunca lo he de ocultar. Te he de seguir amando, te he de seguir besando hasta volverte loca. hasta que me devuelvas el corazón que en besos yo te deje en la boca… English: I have found in your love my lost faith, Now my life has a reason. I don't know if it was the witchcraft of your eyes, that said to your lips, Steal his heart. I know that in the thousand kisses that I have given you on the mouth my heart left me; and they say that it's a sin to love as I love you, Maybe they're right. But what should everything they tell me matter to me, I won't forget you; for if it's a sin to love you I will continue sinning I will never hide it. I will continue loving you, I will continue kissing you until I drive you mad, until you give me back the heart that in kisses I left in your mouth... posted by me 8:19 AM . . .
